Thankful

Today, I’ve decided to be thankful.

Thankful for the mess.  Thankful for the tantrums. Thankful for the things on my to-do list.

This morning I woke up to the smiles of two little boys in jammie shirts and superhero underwear.  They requested Go-gurts and waffles for breakfast.  They sat on the couch, under blankets because, “Mom, you know how I hate to be cold!” and watched Super Why.  I looked at them, just sitting there next to each other with no worries about today, no regrets from yesterday, just simply enjoying the moment they are in.

Brothers and iPhone
Brotherly snuggles… and an iPhone!

And it hit me, how thankful I am for these two boys.  How, even though these past six weeks after the death of my dad have left me in a fog- a surreal world of sorrow, denial, and nostalgia, these two have made me laugh, given me hugs, and kept me off my butt and out of bed.

I miss my dad.  I can’t say I’m thankful he’s gone. But I am thankful for the man he was. Thankful for how he loved me.  I’m thankful for the lessons he bestowed upon me.  I am thankful he was mine.

This part of my life is still raw, still new, and still foggy. But I can’t wallow in it, for it sucks up all the other parts of my life that are clear and sunny.

So even though my house is a mess, I’m thankful to be home.  Even though it’s snowing, and cold, and I have a horrible cough, I’m thankful to be warm and for the husband who plowed the driveway before he went to work.  I’m thankful for the amount of times I get interrupted because that means I’m needed.  I’m thankful that God is patient, and I can feel His presence even though I haven’t had a good conversation with Him in awhile.

Even though my life isn’t perfect, I choose to be thankful.  I pray the same for you.  That even through the fog, you may have a heart of thankfulness.  Because it may as well be the little things that keep our perspectives sunny and clear.

Cross & Clouds

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done.  Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus. And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.” Philippians 4: 6-8

XOXO- Erica

FF-Button-Final

LivingWell


14 thoughts on “Thankful

  1. In the wake of my mum’s death, I look forward to the day I have the innate pleasure of being a parent myself. Even being in the presence of friends’ children brings such ‘in the moment’ joy and reminds me that life is for living, even after others we love have gone.

    Thank you for sharing.
    kx

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  2. Hi just wanted to stop by and thank you for commenting and following my blog. It’s great to meet new people. I’m so sorry to read about you losing your Dad. I can imagine that is very difficult. Praying for comfort and peace during this time.

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  3. Your post made me smile because at the exact moment I saw the subject line, I was thankful for the tow truck that was dragging me out of a huge ditch after I ran off the road. And I was so thankful I didn’t hit the car in the next lane and I was thankful Lando was in Quincy!
    Thanks for the good reminder to be thankful for the things we Do have! Love you!

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  4. Loved your blog post on thankfulness. We don’t have to look for to find something to be grateful for, even in our grief. When we lost our daughter, I hung onto Him for dear life. Please do the same and watch Him heal. And above all, have that long awaited conversation with Him…………..
    Love you.

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  5. Erica, you say you haven’t had a good conversation with God in a while, but I ‘m sure your expression of thanks for all that He has blessed you with,was more personal and intimate to Him than you could possibly imagine! Thank you for reminding us all how very much we have to be thankful for. I continue to pray for those raw edges to be soothed by the awesome love of the Holy Spirit. Those who mourn shall be comforted. Love you sooo much, Trish

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  6. What a precious picture of your boys! My boys are a lot older but they are very close too.

    I am so sorry for the loss of your dad. Can I tell you that time (and the Lord) really does heal?

    My dad has been gone five years now. I still miss him and always will, but the pain is not at sharp as it used to be. I can see pictures of him and just smile and enjoy the sweet memories that I have of him. And I know that one day I will see him again when I get to Heaven.

    I enjoyed your previous article. My friend is a school teacher and she has told me that she gets the “Well, they don’t do that at home” a lot as an excuse. So when I read it in your post I was thinking, “yup, some parents really do say that.”

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    1. Thank you for your kind words. My brother and I were just talking about that yesterday. That hopefully someday we can share stories and pictures of Dad, and laugh or smile and not feel such pain. Thanks again for the encouragement!

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