No, Mom! Why would you do that?
Why would you make him do something by himself?
You know he’ll protest.
You know he’ll scream and cry.
First he will stomp his feet, and holler,
“I DON’T WANT TO!”
And you, Mom, will ignore him.
(Even though that has never worked!).
He will get even more mad because you, Mom, are not helping.
So he will scream louder.
He will bang his feet.
He will find something hard.
Maybe a broom.
Maybe a shoe.
Maybe that really breakable thing in the corner.
And he will start swinging.
Bang! The door.
Bang! The oven.
Bang! The floor.
And you, Mom will walk in and take away
That really breakable thing that used to be in the corner.
Then he will scream LOUDER!
He will stand up and run in place while SCREAMING!
That’s when he will start throwing.
Could be a dish rag.
Could be a shoe.
But most likely, it’s that really breakable thing you put up on the counter.
And that Mom, is when you’ve had enough.
You walk in.
Pick him up,
(Or try because he has gone wet noodle by this point)
and you drag him, unwillingly,
to the corner,
to ‘sit’ in TIMEOUT.
And then, Mom, you leave him alone, again.
He gets crazy ideas.
And while you, Mom, are not looking,
while he all of a sudden gets quiet, and stops
grunting and growling,
is when I end up here…
All rolled up.
At the top of the stairs.
Sure, now he’s quiet.
Now he’s sorry.
Now he’s ready to do what you asked twenty minutes ago.
But I’m stuck up here,
for the fourth time this week.
And I don’t think I did anything wrong.
Please tell me, Mom,
When does he turn four?!
The Disgruntled Timeout Rug