“Love u man. We will get through this. I will be calling and have some laughs along with the rough times.”
No one writes a manual on how to live without your father. The person who, regardless of how rough the time was, would know just what to say. Someone described living in the absence of a loved one like living without a limb. You adjust and adapt, but it is never the same. I have never lost a limb, but my life hasn’t been the same since before this date in 2013.
The above message was a text my dad sent to his friend (also named Steve) upon learning of his friend’s cancer. Positive and to the point. Just like dad. I am copying the email sent to my mom from my dad’s friend. It is a reminder to all of us that loved my dad, and to all of us in a position of adjusting and adapting to a new way of life, to keep moving forward. This week it has been so easy to focus on the emptiness of loss. His email was just what I needed. Maybe his reminder will speak to you too. XO- Erica
Notice in the note above that Steve sent me, it doesn’t say you’ll get through this, he said WE”LL get through this. That is what I passing on to you K’Lynn; love you and we’ll get through this. I cant’ be there to offer personal support, but you have Sandy and my support from afar.I received notes from Steve, from time to time during my treatment that were encouraging and telling me he was proud of my efforts and to keep strong in the battle. That is what I want you to hear now, keep strong, be positive and keep moving forward. Steve would never want to be the reason for your sadness. I’d like you to imagine what Steve would be telling you or anyone else in your situation at this time. He’d say, ” life is about living, helping friends & family, and moving forward”. When he was let go at ISU, I remember him saying he’ll never say anything bad about the university. As pissed off as he was about the lack of leadership, he moved on. He knew that his life would not be defined by the loss of his title. He moved forward, slowly, but he kept moving.I want to keep the flame alive for Steve’s life and how he lived it. Please smile when you read this and remember that your husband would have a thing or two to say about anyone in your current position. He’d be supportive, he’d always offer guidance, but he’d also say to get back into the fight and keep moving forward. – Steve