“My GRACE is sufficient for you, for my power is made PERFECT in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9
Weakness, more like helpless. That was the feeling I had when my dad was in coma. Feeling as though I could just will him out of it. If I prayed hard enough, was positive enough, said enough of the right things then I could be the one to get him out of that bed, out of that hospital and back to life as normal.
But that wasn’t what happened. I couldn’t will him to do anything. I really was powerless, helpless, weak. I know my prayers didn’t go unheard, they just weren’t answered in the way I would have liked. That’s where GRACE came in.
There we gathered. Dad’s whole family in one place, honestly for the first time in years. And it was as though he waited for us all to be together again. My cousins drove through the night from Indiana to get there, and maybe fifteen minutes passed with all of us together, crammed in that room, holding hands, hugging, crying, that dad took his last breath. Our dad, our husband, our brother, our uncle, our son. Just days before, a man so filled with life, was now leaving ours. We all watched, not really, I don’t think, grasping or even slightly understanding what or why. But watch we did, as the soul of a man was lifted out of his body and to a place we can only imagine and see in our dreams.
While I wouldn’t wish what we witnessed that surreal week in January, or the roller coaster of emotions we went through on my worst enemy, it was, in a sense, comforting to know dad waited- that the Lord Graced us with my father’s deepest desire, to be surrounded by those he loved most. By those he was most proud and would do, and many times did do anything for. See, dad was a man of wisdom, always giving advice and helping us to refocus. It was as if in those final moments, in his last breath he was reminding us that family is what matters most.
And it is Family that has helped us to heal.
Because in a span of just eight weeks, I went from watching the man that raised me, that loved me more than himself, my superman, take his very last breath. Heartbreaking. To watching a beautiful baby girl, my baby girl, enter this world and take her very first breath. Heartwarming.
In just two weeks I already see how her life is filled with such GRACE. From the Grace of God- to give such a perfect and beautiful gift during a time of grief and sadness. To the Grace in honor of my dad- once again bringing our family together to celebrate, to feel joy, and to love unconditionally.
I may still be weak, but He is Perfect. I may not be able to will anyone to do anything, but I will continue to pray. And I may have lost my dad, and there are many things I wish he were here to see, but God Graced me with a beautiful baby girl to remind me that from our first to our last, we are able to LOVE, and to experience JOY.
Brooklynn Grace- the answer to my prayers.
8 thoughts on “From the Last to the First”
Beautiful, Erica. Congratulations to you and your family.
Thank you, Shelli!
Bless you and your beautiful family. Hugs…
What a beautiful post and tribute to your father. I’m sorry for your loss, but praise God for your gain! Your daughter is precious; what a blessing she is!
Thanks for sharing you heart at the My Pregnancy Journal Link Up.
Thank you, Sarah. She is pretty precious!